Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
