grandma shit on top of the toilet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
