If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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