cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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