Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
