I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
