I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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