So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
