I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
