im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
