So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
