Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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