But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
