So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
