What did we do last night that was yellow?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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