Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We had to coat check the pizza.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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