he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
