I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Drunk is not a location!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
