You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
