I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
