he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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