Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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