A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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