I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize