tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
