I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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