i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
