Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
