So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
