haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
