You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize