He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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