i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
