woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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