He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
