I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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