just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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