Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
