you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
