He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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