So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
