No subtext here. People are naked.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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