So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
