2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
