just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Your penis caused this!
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