we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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