I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize