What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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