He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
