I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
