She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
