I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
