So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
