FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
MIDGETS
????
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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