you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
