I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
