my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize