Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
