9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
