Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
