shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
