Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
is wine microwaveable?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
