I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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