I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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