Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
