life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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