So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
