Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
